As a middle school age paper boy on Clyde Hill (Bellevue) Washington, I once delivered news papers in the early darkness to homes with kids inside frantically opening presents on Christmas morning. Oddly, a wave of melancholy came over me at the sight. As I looked through open curtains families were inside ecstatic with glee; I was outside, alone, in the cold, lugging the Seattle Times from home to home.
My melancholy was unwarranted. I'd soon be home frantically opening my own presents.
Two nights ago as I wandered from my bus stop in the dark to my motel I looked inside the picture windows of many quaint homes in a classy residential district of Washington DC and saw families setting up Chirstmas trees.
Oddly, another wave of melancholy came over me. This too was unwarranted. I'll soon be home and do Christmas with my five kids and three sons/daughters in law.
The melancholy is amplified when as I sit here in my Chicago Hotel lobby typing while washing clothes and hearing John Lennon sing, Happy Chistmas (the war is over), Andy Williams sing, It's the most wonderful time of the year, and Bing Croby sing, White Christmas.
I mention this because a significant part of my occupation is helping folks deal with negative emotions. Here are some observations about depression.
1. Even though there is a cognitive component to sadness, it still hit me out of the blue. Feeling clobbered with sadness was the last thing I expected on this trip. Impacted by, yes. Clobbered, no.
2. Grief focuses on loss and like many losses, mine are permanant. The joy Vicki and I shared during this, her favorite time of year, will never be replicated. As other grievers have reminded me, the hole in your soul never goes away.
3. My therapy of choice (in addition to friends, therapy, and grief support group), is creativity. According to our bus tour guide (and they never make mistakes, right?), the gorgeous National Building Museum in Washington DC was designed by Montgomery C. Meigs. He was an officer in the Civil War and when his son was killed in battle Meigs travelled to Europe to drown his sorrow in the study architecture. He came back an expert in this new field. Meigs is my new role model.
Now, I go put my cloths in the dryer.
No comments:
Post a Comment